Not a first time…

Haven’t written much since like 10 years or so…

But i feel like I need a place not only to vent and rage out but also share and find someone who understands. Doesn’t have to be one person who shares all the same emotions, ideas and points of view. But I believe in all of the things I wanna talk about I will find someone who does feels the same.

Something to write about later:

1. Why does my dad hates me? What did I do to deserve this? Why do some people just care only about themselves?

2. I feel like I’m stepping over the same shit all over again and again and again my whole life.

• Feeling upset over all the shit coming from dad though I’ve lived through this 100 of times in my life. Can’t seem grow tolerance against it.
• Not doing what I wanna do to often cause of being afraid of failure or being lazy or being used to live like that.
• Fucking go sleep and wake up early and do all the awesome things you can such as: piano, django/python/database site creating stuff, hebrew, friends, sell stuff, be better, feel better…
• Feeling envy for someone who does better thought it doesn’t really matter, all that matter is if I do what I like.

3. What do I think about death? Do I really should think about it at all?

4. What can’t world be a better place and people care about others about making it better not just about money.

5. How to get out of here and change my life?

6. Can I get over all of that above without a therapist? Although I really want a good one and I want to be one as well 🙂

Hope no one reads this!

#forgoteverythingreallywantedtosay